Most people are pretty chill about stuff. Most people are totally cool cancelling plans if they know you’re sad and need to stay home to hide. And if they’re not cool with that, you probably shouldn’t be friends with them. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve; from day one I have always said exactly how I’m feeling to anyone who asked (and lots of people that didn’t). But I started to fake it so people didn’t worry (by ‘people’ I mean my mom) and lying was easier than saying things that would make other people sad for me. Some days life was just really hard and I couldn’t do it like a normal person and I would start to cry for almost no reason (I say almost because it didn’t seem like a good enough reason at the time to cry and didn’t seem like a good enough reason it hindsight but it was a reason). Instead of saying I wasn’t okay, asking to take a minute, or anything else that sounds resolving and not avoiding, I’d just say I really needed to sneeze. That’s why my eyes were tearing up – I needed to sneeze! I didn’t want to admit that I was sad or angry and that what I really needed was to either process what I was feeling or distract myself until I was able to process what I was feeling. It’s hard to tell people what you feel and what you need from them but you gotta. My mom understands now that if I get overwhelmed with feelings, I need to lie down for a minute and catch my breath. Now all I need to do is tell her I’m a little overwhelmed, and she’ll give me a minute. Most people who love you want to help you! Tell them how you feel so they can.
The Life of a Mourning Dove 