I’m trying to be healthier of late so I can get stronger physically and maybe mentally too. It’s highly possible that I will never enjoy working out but it’s a thing I have to do so I can be strong again.
I’ve started listening to Christina Perri’s Human during my cool down (I can handle twenty minutes so far!) and I like it’s message. I think it was intended to be about a bad relationship (as lots of songs are) but I decided it’s about the expectations I’m setting for myself.
I am capable of a lot of things. I can pretend that I’m okay when I’m not and I know how to survive on my own. But I don’t want to. I’m only human and it’s okay if I fail and it’s okay if I need help.
I’m not as strong as those girls at the gym who look perfect in their yoga pants but that’s okay. I haven’t been working as long as they have and maybe one day I’ll be as strong as they are. But I’m only human and some days I’m doing the best I can and somedays I’m doing a little less than that and that’s okay too. I’m twenty minutes stronger today than I was yesterday and that’s something!
I’m writing when I can – when my depression gets particularly bad, small things like this seem like far more than I can do. Love to you all – we’re nearly through the first month of the new year. We’ve made it this far!
The Life of a Mourning Dove 