Sorry – I wish saying the words out loud was a switch you could flip too. Admitting you have a problem and need help is the first step but you’ve got lots of steps after that before you’re recovering
I’ve been in recovery for my eating disorder for two years technically but I haven’t actually been recovering every single day since I first admitted that I had an eating disorder. My sophomore year (when I’d been in ‘recovery’ for about a year) I started abusing diuretics (laxatives) in an attempt to lose the weight I was putting on from my recovery. Not only is the abuse of diuretics painful and ineffective, it’s also really really bad for you and your internal organs. I wasn’t restricting as much so I was still in recovery for anorexia, right? Except that’s not how it works – you can’t give up one kind of disordered eating for another. You have to change the way you think about so much stuff and it’s not easy.
I used to workout so I could earn food that day and finding ways to workout in recovery has been difficult. I have a mental block about exercise – exercise was a big part of my eating disorder and I’ve had to change the way I workout and the way I think about it.My eating disorder decimated my muscles and I want to be strong again so I’m working through it.I’m trying not to focus on weight loss but on strength.
I’m in recovery and it’s not easy. I find myself falling back into old habits because they’re familiar and sometimes I do. I’ve got lots of steps to go yet but being strong, healthy, and living for a long time should be worth it. Let’s do it together?
The Life of a Mourning Dove 